Castles, Dragons and White Crosses
by bffimagine
Summary: A painful secret. A dangerous mission. An almost fatal mistake. An agonizing failure, and an equally painful success... And a fairy tale to repair the damage. RanKen
1. Disease

Bffimagine: I'm back! Sort of… but here my new fic and it's more angsty than I thought I could ever write!

Ken: Then it shouldn't be that angsty after all.

Bffimagine: Kenken, the sarcasm isn't appreciated very much. But reviews are!

"Ken-kun," Omi murmured.

The aforementioned soccer player snapped out of his worry-filled reverie, turning his pale face toward the youngest Weiss.

"What can I do for him, Omi?" was his tense reply.

Aya was thrashing in his own used-to-be-immaculate bed, lost to the throes of his high fever.

Omi inwardly noted how obviously Ken was smitten with Aya. The little graces and considerations that he showed to no one but the red-head.

"Get the medicine from the 24-hour pharmacy. The prescription is over there," Omi nudged Ken in the direction of the bureau. Sure enough, about eight copies of the prescription were in a neat pile. Ken snatched one.

Yohji's face was grim and taut.

"Be quick, Ken."

Nidding, Ken bolted out of the room. He didn't bother going to the garage for his bike. He ran eight blocks down from the Koneko, turning to try and get through an alleyway—a shortcut.

BANG!

A gunshot rang out and pain exploded in Ken's right knee. He crumpled to the ground, eyes tightly shut in agony.

'I was too busy rushing to see him here!' the still-functional part of Ken's mind chided.

Ken made a valiant effort to get up and run, but he slipped on his own blood and crashed into the ground, breaking his left wrist in the process.

'Ran's medicine!' Ken thought desperately.

A dark figure grabbed Ken's injured wrist, making the assassin yelp in pain. No one save the stars and streetlamps could see the brunette's pain at one in the morning.

Masked by darkness, the stranger placed a bruising kiss to Ken's lips. He forcefully shoved his tongue into Ken's mouth.

Panic flooded Ken's mind. He bit down as hard as he could.

Curses spewed from the assailant's mouth. Ken attempted to scramble back but was thrown against a wall.

The scrape of metal against metal alerted Ken of his attacker's knife. A nearby street lamp glinted off of the steel, lighting the stranger's face enough for Ken to know what he looked like.

Dark blue hair in wild, ocean-wave spikes. Deep amethyst eyes glinting with a bloodlust Ken had never seen in eyes like that before.

Aya's eyes.

Another cry of pain was wrenched from Ken's throat as the stranger slashed his side with the knife. He was barely aware of the piece of cloth roughly shoved into his mouth and tied around his head.

Now effectively gagged, Ken couldn't scream.

"Are you a virgin?"

The rough voice of the attacker startled Ken. He didn't reply.

Knives liked skin. Ken currently had one pressed against his throat.

He nodded, feeling defeated and hating himself for it.

The man with Aya's eyes smirked, the malice in the purple depths frightening Ken beyond anything else. His mind kept making this man's face into Aya's, his beautiful, beloved Aya…

Who had just cut both his forearms open.

Fighting back the tears was harder than Ken thought. They welled insistently in his eyes regardless of his pleas to make them go away.

Mumbles were all the attacker heard from Ken due to the gag, and it infuriated him. He punched Ken hard in the face, making the eighteen-year-old's head whip to the side. Impact with the wall scratched and bruised Ken's other cheek as well.

Ken supposed what happened next was corollary. He felt his pants being pulled off and his legs yanked apart. He tried to close them but the blue-haired man made bloody lacerations on Ken's thighs with his fingernails.

Then came the biting and sucking and nibbling, some bruising, some bleeding. The worst, in Ken's point of view, was the freely bleeding bite mark in the juncture of his neck and shoulder.

"Just remember, pretty boy," the man with Aya's eyes warned, "That I was your first."

Strangely, the man who was about to rape Ken sounded painfully like Aya as well.

Aya's face materialised on the rapist's when the aforementioned criminal shoved himself into Ken, making the boy gasp and the pain of being torn apart inside.

Ken begged him to stop, but the man had no intention of doing so, even if he could hear the pleas from behind Ken's gag. He simply dragged his knife all over Ken's back, the blood running from the depth of the cuts.

He hated himself. Ken hated himself for being violated so badly, and he hated himself for betraying his promise—he wanted to save himself for Ran and give the red-head the most precious thing he had to give.

But now it was being torn away from him just as his insides were tearing.

Mixed blood ran down Ken's toned thighs, some from the merciless penetration and some from the gashes in his legs. The blood from the bullet hole in Ken's knee was coursing steadily down his calves.

Jagged fingernails were ripped across Ken's abdomen, leaving angry red marks in their wake.

Finally the rapist finished his deed, filling Ken with his fluids. Ken's tears went unnoticed by the attacker.

"My name is Shiinji. Remember I had you first. No one is going to want you now."

The words cut deeper than the lacerations on Ken's back.

_No one would want you now._

_Aya won't want you now._

Ken looked into the eyes of the attacker, making a mistake he sorely regretted.

Ran's face materialized over Shiinji's.

Shiinji said with Aya's voice, "_I _don't even want you now."

With that he turned and left. Ken pulled up his pants with his right hand. He dragged his less injured leg into his chest and cried.

He cried until the first light touched the horizon at three in the morning.

Then he tried to crawl back home, feeling used and dirty and worthless.

bffimagine: Whaddya think of the first chapter?

Ken: I don't like it.

Bffimagine: Naa, Kenken, that's a biased answer. Everyone else, please review!


	2. Shadows Hiding

Bffimagine: Yay! I really love this story… I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it!

Note: One of my wonderful reviewers noted that the rape scene is a lot like the one in the fanfiction, 'Zeit'. I have personally read that fic (and loved it to death . but I have a different idea in mind for why Ken associates the rapist with Aya. HAPPY READING!

The door creaked open and Ken stumbled into the shop at five in the morning. Omi came running down the stairs, not bothering to turn on a light.

'_Please, please don't let him turn on the light. I don't want him to see me_,' Ken thought hopefully.

How appropriate. Now he hid in the dark, like the vermin that no one cared about. The vermin that was dirty and had no right to be seen or heard. That simply existed because life refused to leave their bodies.

"Where were you? I had to send Yohji-kun to get the medicine!"

Ken froze. He forgot the medicine. He had failed…

The soccer player hung his head. He felt selfish for thinking of his own pain instead of Ran's.

"I'm sorry, Omi. Tell Ran I'm sorry too."

'_Because I can't tell him myself. I'm too dirty_.'

Ken passed Omi and quietly shuffled up the stairs.

"There's no excuse Ken-kun! Aya-kun is really sick! Yotan nearly didn't get the medicine in time!" Omi waved his arms exasperatedly.

Again Ken stopped. He turned to face Omi, subconsciously thankful Omi couldn't see his face.

"I know there's no excuse. I'd trade places with Aya just to save him, anytime, anywhere." With that Ken dragged himself to his room.

Morning light danced on the pallid face of Hidaka Ken, making the mottled bruise on one of his cheeks seem darker and the redness of the other scratched cheek more noticeable. Ken groaned.

Bloody towels were soaking in the bathtub, and the first aid kit was still open at the foot of his bed.

A piece of gauze was in the garbage, stained in blood. It held the bullet Ken had to dig out of his knee.

The blood loss made Ken dizzy as he got to his feet. His entire torso was covered in bandages, neatly wrapped around and meticulously covering the vicious bite mark on his neck.

His right knee was bound tightly with blood still oozing through the gauze. Ken applied more material before pulling on a brace.

Unfortunately his left wrist had no brace. He had to create a makeshift splint to keep the bone in place, and he tried not to move it and still keep his injuries inconspicuous.

It had been a tortuous shower the night before.

Hot water ran into the cuts like rainwater in ditches, stinging as they washed away the blood and divulged Ken with the sight of his swollen red flesh. The soap stung with biting needles of cleansing that burned even after the lather was rinsed off.

Ken sighed resignedly and pulled on a t-shirt and sweater, opting for a baggier one that covered his neck and went past his thumbs. He wore loose black pants just in case the blood soaked through, and applied a tan powder on his face to cover the scratch and the bruise.

Finally convinced that he looked normal, Ken started down the stairs, unsurprised how difficult it was. His vision swam slightly and his knee didn't wish to cooperate with him.

He could feel his blood soaking into all his bandages, his back feeling disgustingly wet and his legs bleeding slightly slower. Ken knew it was only a matter of time before his knee gave out on him altogether, and the amount of blood he was loosing was scary.

But it wasn't anyone else's problem but his own. He would not burden anyone with his troubles, not when Aya was sick and in such dire need of their attention.

Worthless people didn't deserve medical help, anyway.

Yohji ran into Ken as the brunette stepped into the hallway.

"Where were you last night Ken? Aya damn near overheated and you were nowhere in sight!"

Ken fought back the memories of the night before and the tears that accompanied them.

"I-I got lost, Yohji," giving the blonde a watery apologetic smile.

He mentally kicked himself for that reply.

"You suck at lying, Ken. Where were you? Did you leave because you couldn't take it? You couldn't take the thought of Aya dying? And because of that you left him and he nearly did!" Yohji didn't like the sound of his own voice, but he had a lot of stress to get rid of and couldn't help but take it out on Ken.

"I'm sorry, Yohji. You shouldn't have had to go and get the medicine because I didn't. I'm sorry. Please, tell that to Ran." Ken's eyes drifted to the floor.

"No, Kenken. You're going to tell him yourself."

Yohji grabbed Ken's injured wrist and Ken was thankful for two things: One, that he didn't yelp, and two, that Yohji had turned away and hadn't seen him grimace.

"I-I can't, Yohji."

"You'd better, Ken."

"No."

"Ken! I've had enough of this crap! Where the hell were you and why didn't you come back last night."

"I don't want to talk about it Yohji. I've got to open the shop. Let go." Ken looked away from the angry emerald eyes.

'_I'm causing them pain…_'

"God damn you, Ken! Go, open the shop. Hopefully Aya will be awake enough to hear your apology, given he doesn't die while you're to cowardly to tell him!"

The tears Ken didn't want to shed welled in his eyes again.

"I'm sorry Yohji."

Ken left to begin work at the Koneko.

"YOTAN!"

"What is it, Omittchi?" Yohji looked up from his coffee.

"Have you seen Ken-kun this morning? He didn't eat anything."

"Yeah, I saw him. He's being a prick."

"As in, refusing to say much other than 'I'm sorry'?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"And asking you to tell Aya he was sorry?"

Something clicked.

"I'm worried, Omi. This could be serious."

"Do you think he's hiding something?"

"Hai. We just have to figure out what."

"And soon."

Days dragged by and Ken didn't _seem_ to have changed. He offered his usual, cheerful smile, no matter whom it was directed at, and to the fangirls, he seemed like regular, boy-next-door Kenken.

But to his family—to Weiss—they knew something was up.

Omi sighed as he set some soup and toast in front of Aya. Aya took the food and thanked him, starting to eat immediately.

"We're worried about Ken-kun, Aya-kun," he muttered, though his voice seemed directed at the carpet.

"What happened to him? I haven't seen him… he hasn't come up to my room," Aya responded, his icy monotone warmer with concern.

"He didn't come back that night we sent him to get your medicine. He was out for five hours and the pharmacy is only ten minutes away. We think something happened, but he won't tell us what."

"Demo, it's been nearly a week since then…"

"And seems normal, Aya-kun. Ken-kun is an awful liar because he hates lying and because you can read exactly what he feels in his eyes. He's just so open most of the time, but now…"

"It isn't your concern what he did that night. The medicine was retrieved in the end, no harm done." The ice froze over again.

'_Ken… what could be wrong with you?_'

Giving up, Omi nodded and stood.

"I'll come up to get the dishes after," he stated flatly, the turned and left.

The truth was, if Yohji and Omi were worried, Aya was worried thousand-fold. He had become infatuated with Ken since the beginning and—

'_STOP THINKING THAT!_' Ran inwardly yelled at himself. So he finished his food and went back sleep.

He didn't want to admit he loved Ken and would do anything for him. He wouldn't allow himself to.

The next day Yohji confronted Ken. It was time they had a talk.

"What are you hiding, Ken?"

Ken looked confused, but Yohji saw the fear in his eyes.

"I'm not hiding anything, Yotan."

Yohji was very frustrated.

"Then why the hell are you acting like the living dead? What happened, Ken? Since when did your smile die before it reached your eyes?" Yohji traced a finger along Ken's cheekbone.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You can't lie and you know it, Ken! What do I have to do to get you to talk to me?"

"What if I don't want to talk?"

Yohji lost it. He swung his fist, expecting Ken to dodge, but was surprised when it connected with a sick smack to Ken's cheek.

The impact reopened a cut on the inside of Ken's cheek, the blood dripping down from the corner of his mouth.

Hurt was evident in the liquid chocolate pools, glazed and watery with tears.

What really got Yohji's attention, was the bruise that was revealed on Ken's face, still dark and mottled but yellowing at the edges, indicating that it was healing.

Mouth open in shock, he stared at Ken, and then his fist, which was tan with powder that had wiped off Ken's face.

"Oh… my God… I'm so sorry, Ken, I-I didn't mean to—"

"Don't worry Yohji. It's… it's not worth it."

'_I'm not worth it._'

Ken ran up the stairs and out of sight.

Yohji worked the rest of the shift in silence. Something happened. He knew it. He just had to figure out what.

What could make happy-go-lucky Ken get so closed off?

How could he help?

Ken scuffled into Aya's room. It was dark but warm, and inanely spotless.

"Ran," he whispered softly, confident Aya was asleep, "I'm so sorry."

He stopped for a moment, hesitating.

Aya was, in fact, very much awake and listening intently.

"I understand if you're mad at me. And you should be. You should hate me as much as I hate myself. You should think I'm as dirty and used and worthless as I am."

That's not what Aya expected to hear. The pain in Ken's voice made it all too difficult to listen to.

"I know I'm a coward, since I'm telling you all this in your sleep. But… even though I know I don't deserve you—I… I love you, Ran."

Ran's eyes snapped open.

"No, you don't."

Ken seemed taken aback.

"H-How long were you awake for?" Ken looked so scared at that moment… Aya couldn't help but think that fear didn't belong in Ken's eyes or voice, now or ever.

"Only for the end," Aya lied, his face stony and impassive.

"You only _think _you love me, Ken, and that's all it is. A silly crush. I never want to hear you say that in my presence—or ever, for that matter—again." Aya inwardly winced at the coldness of his words and tone.

Brown eyes melted in hurt and Aya could just barely make out the outline of Ken's shoulders sagging.

"I-I understand. I'm sorry, Aya, for everything."

Ken left, closing the door almost silently behind him.

Aya wanted to kick himself. Hard. In the head.

Why had he said that to Ken? He wanted the soccer player to fall in love with him this whole time, and here he was tearing the poor boy apart!

Yes, the great Fujimiya Ran was scared. He was scared of loving someone as much and as deeply as he did.

Meanwhile, Ken was in his own bedroom, the door locked.

Quiet sobs wracked his body, sending ripples of pain through his healing back. There would be scars. On his back, legs… everywhere. The bite mark, even, would leave faint lines on his neck.

And the scars on his heart and mind.

They would bleed forever.

_Just remember, I had you first._

_No one will want you._

_I don't want you._

Aya's face danced in Ken's vision as he cried.

bffimagine: AHA! Another chapter finished! Please, please review!


	3. Nightmares

Bffimagine: I love this fic now! I hope it's long and beautiful and really angsty and sad… prays to fic gods

Ken knew he didn't wake up that morning. He knew this because he never fell asleep.

He spent the whole night staring at the ceiling, replaying what Ran said over and over again in his head…

While it was peppered with the words of the man who raped him.

He had never been more thankful than when he was sure Ran couldn't have seen his face in the dark.

Otherwise he would've seen the paleness from blood loss, the slight dark circles from insomnia… or refusal to sleep because of the nightmares, the involuntary replays of _that night… _and the almost unnoticeable gauntness that had begun hollowing out his once full cheeks due to his self-denial of food.

Ken was running. Strangely, he didn't feel tired, even though he was running as fast as he could, and had been running for a long time. He stumbled as he tripped over a jet-black cat.

The feral grin of the man above him sent shivers up his spine.

"I had you first."

Shiinji's smile never faltered.

Ken tried to scramble back, fear making him clumsy. He backed into a wall.

It was like a sick sense of déjà vu. He knew this had happened before…

Shiinji tore into him, the feeling entry similar to being ripped apart from the inside was painstakingly familiar…

"NOOO!" Ken screamed, trying to fight off the attacker as his thrusts became more insistent.

The tears refused to cease, staining silvery lines on his cheeks that glinted in the moonlight.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Hidaka Ken awoke to banging and yelling on his door, and the lingering sound of his own scream. He scrambled out of bed, clambering into the washroom and promptly throwing up.

"Ken-kun! Are you alright?"

"Yes, Omi," Ken started, his voice weak and raspy.

"Ken-kun?"

"I'm fine, Omi. Just a nightmare," Ken shouted again, his voice nearly cracking.

Wiping his bangs away from where they were plastered to his forehead. The cold sweat was numbing against his fingers.

"Are you sure, Ken-kun?"

"Hai, Omi, I'm okay."

Ken heard the retreating footsteps and released a breath he didn't realize he was holding. He stood and washed his mouth out thoroughly with water.

That had been the first time he fell asleep since _that night_.

It had been a long time before Ken left the washroom. He stood, looking in the mirror, contemplating.

_Should he run or should he hide?_

Simply a sick game of hide and seek.

He would hide.

The nightmares would seek. And find. And tear him up within.

There was no escape. No sanctuary.

_Sanctus. Credo. Crucifixus. _Safe. I believe… Crucifixion.

Whenever Ken believed he was safe, the memories hunted him down and ripped him to shreds and shattered whatever he was holding onto.

Shattered it into so many little pieces. Ken would cut himself up trying to put it back together, only to have it shatter again…

And cut himself putting it together…

Until he broke, shattered just like the deepest recesses of his mind that he desperately clung to so he could keep his sanity. His fingers bled as he scraped together what he could, what he was trying so desperately to salvage, putting the pieces together before they could shatter again.

The soft, sweet memories of playing soccer with children, the kind Kase, the first time he saw Ran.

It all changed and twisted into him being framed, Kase betraying him, and the ruthless words that came from Ran's lips.

You don't love me. I never want to hear you say those words in my presence—or ever—again.

Merging pictures and voices, Ran's face and Ran's voice and those lips he so wanted to kiss forming words he wished he never heard—

No one will want you.

I don't want you.

A soft, sad, wanton smile graced Ken's lips as the tears streamed down his face.

'_I don't want me._'

The thing with Ken was that he never felt special or interesting in any way. Brown hair and eyes was such a common combination. Soccer was such a mundane sport. Working with flowers was so ordinary.

Truthfully speaking, Ken was normal.

As normal as an eighteen-year-old assassin could be.

He cooked and cleaned and worked every day.

He scraped blood off of his clothing everyday.

When one of his comrades was sick or injured, he was there day and night to nurse them back to health.

When Omi had a test he made the kid study and dragged him off the laptop so he could get decent sleep.

When Yohji had a rough day he would buy him a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of something insanely strong and probably illegal.

When Ran was being colder than usual he always let the ice-block know he was there in case he was tired of being stoic.

Overall, Ken was just Ken. Altruistic, friendly, soccer-playing, children-loving Ken. Pure and simple and innocent and kind.

Who or what could've changed that?

Yohji banged his fist into the counter, making Omi jump and Ran look away from the orders for a second, training his eyes on the wire-wielding assassin.

"Ken's slowly killing himself, and here we are arranging _flowers_," Yohji shouted, his nerves raw and relentless questions plaguing him.

'_We all want to help Ken, Yohji. I want to help Ken._' Ran sighed mentally.

"There's nothing much we can do about it, Yohji. If Ken won't talk, he's stubborn enough to keep quiet." Ran shook his head sadly, even though he wanted to cry or grab Ken and force the brown-haired fool to spit out whatever was bothering him or even just strip him and—

'_WHOA, Ran, getting a little carried off there!_' Ran chastised himself.

"He woke up screaming this morning." Omi's ocean blue eyes never left his coffee.

"Nande?" Ran and Yohji asked in unison.

"He had a nightmare."

"What kind of nightmare?" Ran inquired, brows furrowing in concentration.

"I don't know. He said he was 'fine' and told me to leave."

"He's obviously not 'fine'. We have to figure this out." Running a hand through his hair, Yohji sighed.

"What could possibly hurt Ken-kun so much? When did it happen?"

"I think it has largely to do with guilt," Ran suggested, tugging on an ear-tail in thought.

"He didn't come back that night, I was so angry at him…" Omi's eyes widened suddenly.

"D-Do you think—could something have… happened to Ken-kun? And that's why he didn't come back?"

"The bruises… Oh God… the bruises," Yohji held his head.

"What bruises?" Ran asked more eagerly than he intended.

"I-I lost my temper with Ken," he confessed, "And I punched him. He put on some sort of powder to hide some bruises on his face…"

"Bruises on his face?" Omi looked horrified.

"I yelled at him," Yohji admitted as well.

"So did I," Omi nodded.

Ran looked sick.

"What could he be going through? Something happened… and now it's gotten worse. It was bad to begin with, and something's made it worse, so much worse…" Yohji cradled his head in the crook of his arm on the table.

"If he was in pain already, I think we all did something to tear him apart more. We opened the wounds farther—"

"He told me he loved me." Both Yohji and Omi looked stunned as Ran said this.

"I told him I didn't love him back." Ran dropped his gaze so his blood-red bangs covered his face.

'_And it was a lie._'

Silence settled heavily over the shop. It had been a slow morning anyway, so no customers drew the boys' thoughts away from their bugnuk-wielding friend.

When had sweet, cheerful Kenken become a nearly catatonic shell that was basically in a coma? The brunette's mind was drifting farther away from reality, and none of them were aware that it was to block out an immense pain Ken didn't think he could handle on his own.

Before any of them knew it, the afternoon shift started and Ken bounded down the stairs.

"Konnichiwa, minna—"

Ken stopped, looking from one teammate to the next. He smiled uneasily at them.

"Why are you all looking at me like that?"

No one said a word for a long time.

"Ken," Ran finally said, "We all need to talk."

bffimagine: YEAH! I'm on a roll…

Ran: Reviews are greatly appreciated. If not… SHI-NE!

Bffimagine: -.-" Anyways, 3 reviews update!


	4. Assignment

Bffimagine: Agh! Poor Kenken… What is he going to do?!?! Will Ran stop being a bastard? AHHHH!

Wide brown eyes looked at Ran, then Yohji, then Omi, and finally settled on the red-head.

Ken backed up, taking step by step backwards until the backs of his knees hit the coffee table.

"I don't want to talk, Ran," Ken whispered bashfully, "I don't want to make you hate me."

Omi's eyes brimmed with tears.

"We won't hate you, Ken-kun, we promise, just let us—"

Ken didn't hear the rest of Omi's sentence because Manx decided to walk in.

"I'm not interrupting anything, am I, boys?" Manx asked in clipped tones, a slender red eyebrow cocked elegantly.

"No, of course not, Manx," Ken replied easily, giving her a somewhat sheepish grin.

"Good. I need you all for this mission; for just the four of you it's dangerous, so don't get me started on if any of you drop out."

She received a solemn nod from every member of Weiss.

"Follow me."

The mission room was eerily quiet save for the scrape of plastic when Manx put in the tape. Omi sat on one end of the couch with Yohji sprawled over the rest of it. Ran stood, and Ken curled onto the armchair.

"Your target is messing with people. He basically wants to conduct experiments on psychological damage by raping people, torturing them, kidnapping them and observing them as they try to cope."

Images of people lying on the floor, bloody and mutilated, with eyes bloodshot and wild with fear, clutching at their heads as tears streamed down their faces…

Ken found that he had to look away.

"Occasionally he rapes and tortures random people off the street for the fun of it. Then he returns to his headquarters where he keeps the lab rats and studies them for the entertainment he finds in it. If any of the people he's keeping as his test subjects dies he burns them and if they try to escape he poisons them so they die a painful death."

Yohji looked like he was gagging and Omi looked like he was ready to throw up.

"What is the name of the target?"

"Ochiru Shiinji."

Ken froze when he saw the picture of the target flash onto the screen.

Bile burned the back of his throat, acidic and ugly and bitter. He wanted to slip away and not look back.

Same dark blue hair spiking in random directions. Pale face and chiselled features, set jaw and pointed, effeminate nose.

Violet eyes danced in his mind, haunting the remnants of his shattered soul, reflecting in the spatters of blood and shards of pain.

A small whimper escaped Ken's throat, unnoticed by all the others except Ran.

'_What's wrong with him?_' Ran thought sadly.

But he noticed because he was sitting closest to Ken. Not because he was watching him instead of the tape the whole time. Of course not…

"I trust you will have this job done well, as usual?" Manx tapped a perfectly manicured nail against her elbow.

Weiss nodded warily at her, hoping they wouldn't screw themselves over _too_ badly.

Ken's fingers had begun to shake.

'_I'm scared._'

Ran didn't know what to do. Was it more painful for Ken if he didn't do anything and neglected to try and find out what was amiss, or if he tried to find out and pried into something he was better off not knowing? What could he do to help? More importantly… How _WOULD _he help?

Manx left and the team of assassins filed out of the mission room.

Waking up was hard on spring mornings when it was warm under the covers and the air was chill and crisp. Once the sun smiled on the earth everything warmed, but for the time being Ran would have just liked to snuggle back down and ignore the glaring of the sun's rays.

If it hadn't been for his inanely annoying alarm clock.

"Ugh…"

Ran moaned as he threw off the covers.

'_Better to just get it over with._'

A hot shower woke him up and soothed his nerves a bit, even though he still dreaded having to go downstairs to work.

To go downstairs and be faced with Ken's sad, lost, beautiful mocha eyes that used to be alive and laughing. It hurt to see the pain that those brown depths held, and Ran wished he could hold the brunette and make it all go away.

However, things like that only happened in fairy tales.

Shutting the water off, Ran stepped out and dried himself. Dressing quickly, he sighed and stumbled downstairs.

He stopped by the doorway, keeping out of sight when he heard voices from the kitchen.

"Where are you going Ken-kun?" Omi inquired softly from the table.

"Out." Ken was just as quiet.

"You know we have the mission tonight, right?"

"Of course, Omi."

Something about the lifelessness in Ken's voice made Yohji flip out.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Ken?"

Yohji lifted the younger boy off the ground by his neck, pressing his thumbs firmly into Ken's throat.

Ran's eyes widened in shock; what the heck did Yohji think he was doing?

Ken coughed and spluttered, desperately trying to tear Yohji's hands away from his air supply.

"Stop it, Yotan!" Omi smacked Yohji's wrist lightly and the blonde relinquished his hold on Ken. The brown-haired boy tumbled to the ground, gasping for air and clutching at his abused neck. The long sleeves fell away from his thin wrists, revealing the almost-gone, healing bruise rings around them.

'_Where did those come from?_' Ran wondered, still watching from the doorway.

"You're overreacting. Ken didn't do anything wrong." Omi offered a hand to help his fallen friend to his feet.

"Like hell he hasn't! It's been nine days! Nine days since that night you didn't come back! Why so secretive and tight-lipped? What are you keeping from us, Ken? Why don't you talk to us about how you feel and what you think anymore?" Yohji's anger dissipated with every phrase, the last one hurt, "Why can't you tell us what's wrong?"

"I-I'm fine," Ken choked out, obviously on the verge of tears.

This time Omi whacked Ken in the arm.

"You've stopped eating, you don't sleep and you're still trying to play soccer to keep smiles on children's faces even though you lock yourself in your room at night and cry, usually to a sleep that never lasts over half an hour. You wake up screaming. You're killing yourself, Ken-kun. We want to know why and we want you to stop."

'_My thoughts exactly, Omi._' Ran smirked in the shadow of the door's frame.

"I'm sorry, Omi. I'm not feeling well." Ken apologized, his voice tired and defeated yet still holding a fear that tinged it crimson.

"Bullshit, Ken! What's wrong with you? We're worried out of our minds!" Yohji's face was flushed with anger.

"You're the goddamn P.I.! Figure it out!"

Omi and Yohji were startled when Ken suddenly raised his voice. Siberian kicked off his shoes and fled up the stairs, not noticing Ran pressed against the wall.

Ken was pale, scared and upset. It showed in his eyes and the tear-tracks on his face.

"I have a feeling this is worse than we assumed," Yohji whispered guiltily.

"What are we going to do? He's hurting bad, Yohji. I can see it in his eyes, in the way he moves, in the way that just smiling looks painful for him."

"Not to mention the fact that he's trying to avoid Ran now."

'_Well, that makes a load of sense. After what Well, that makes a load of sense. After what YOU said to him, Fujimiya, I'm surprised he hasn't run away._' Ran told himself. The red-head scowled.

Ran trudged back into his room, work forgotten.

Soft sobbing noises assaulted Ran's ears as he walked by Ken's room.

'_He's hurting so much. Why?_'

Tears of compassion and sympathy mingled with Ran's frustration.

How do you help someone so obviously broken?

Ran shook his head and entered his own room.

Yohji was livid.

"The mission is in an hour and a bit, Omi. Ken hasn't come down." He chewed on the end of an unlit cigarette because Omi wouldn't let him smoke in the shop.

"I don't think we should take Ken along, Yohji," Omi replied.

"He's not ready."

Omi nodded, but stopped.

"Manx said it was suicidal for only three of us to go. He has to come."

"He might use it as an excuse to kill himself!"

"Ken-kun is stubborn but definitely not cowardly or stupid. He won't fuck it up, Yohji."

Omi glared daggers and Yohji complied.

"Ken might not be the one to fuck up, but I'm certain SOMETHING will go wrong."

An hour later, Weiss assembled in the mission room.

"We all know our position, strategy, two back-up plans and the layout of the building?" Omi's eyes moved from one member to the next.

"Good. Move out."

Breathe in. Exhale. Inhale.

Ken tried to keep from panicking. They had nearly gotten to the main headquarters of Shiinji's sick experiments.

"You okay there, Kenken?" Yohji put a comforting arm around Ken, offering any solace he could to the teenager.

"I'm fine Yohji." Ken gave his teammate a shaky smile, not quite sure of how convincing he was.

He was scared to death.

bffimagine: MUAHAHAHA!

Shiinji: What does my office look like? Posh?

Bffimagine: (sweatdrops) I actually couldn't care less what your office looks like. It's big, has a desk and a chair that you're sitting in.

Shiinji: That's so cheap!

Bffimagine: You're facilities are more important when it comes to detail! So shut up and let people review!


End file.
